Published Downloadable
Today I teach you how to keep life in a book borrowed at the library making a mockery of the grievances of the librarians. The principle behind the lesson ends with a concept so obvious that it bothers me having the balls to point out: If your library books are also my all, so I keep them the fuck I want and certainly can not be a librarian - that is a who has just won a competition - to bring to account. Street, is obvious.
First we learn to know our enemies. Forget the stereotype of the helpless and bored librarian and librarian frigid and bored: Librarians today do not get bored and fuck more like us. They are dynamic, using computers, have become aware of their role, are politicized (many are members of "Democratic Library", just to let you know which side they are), some are even proud to be librarians. Only a stretch of the traditional profile of the librarian has remained unchanged: the cacacazzaggine. Librarians are cacacazzi fighter second only to Jehovah's Witnesses. The librarian of Jehovah's Witnesses, in many communities, it is feared Jehovah himself. Now we come to our lesson and move on to a concrete example. Have you borrowed a book, any book. A past due loan could rise an email to this effect by the assiduous librarian:
"Dear user, remember that a few hours and days (five) has expired the loan of the book in his possession. In
ask you to comply as soon as his duty to return it, I would remind you that the possession of public libraries is available to the entire community and as such, deserves more consideration on his part.
Awaiting your kind reply to the greeting and gnashing of teeth. "
Now, how you respond to this email? Ignore it and divert them to junk it would not help, I've already tried. The email of the librarians have the power to the trash ricicciare at frequencies unpredictable and inopportune moments.
You have to find ways to respond effectively, surprising, unsettling, so take time enough to appeal to fuck the law of adverse possession (Art. 1158 Civil Code).
I propose five possible response messages.
1. Dear Dr.
pitiful,
excuse the delay in reply but in this village in Somalia, where I am volunteering for, I do not have much time to check la posta elettronica. Lei ha perfettamente ragione e sono certo che anche il piccolo Ahmed, che ha perso entrambe le gambe a causa di una mina, capirà che non potrà più leggere il suo libro preferito perché il prestito è scaduto. Domani mattina attraverserò a piedi il campo minato per raggiungere il più vicino ufficio postale (420 km) e restituire il libro. Mi scuso ancora con lei e con la collettività per il disturbo arrecatovi.
2. Collusivo
Ciao, stavo per contattarti io. Lo sapevi che il libro che ho preso vale un pacco di soldi? Mio zio mi ha detto almeno 200-300 mila. Mi pare giusto che dividiamo. Non scrivermi più, però, mi faccio vivo io. Ciao.
3. Folle
I would like to return the book but I have eaten hihihihihi page after page index yum yum yum yum yum yum that will delight the hardcover crunch crunch crunch hihihihihi burp.
4. Dear Dr. Coward
,
am the wife of the person you are looking for. Unfortunately my husband has perished in a plane crash in south-east Asia. Let me time to look for the book to be returned (unless it was with him at the time of the accident, he loved to read in flight), the contact you after the funeral.
5. Counteroffensive
Dear Ms. Librarian,
I state that I am a Jehovah's Witness, so between us we understand. I must point out the card-loan contains a gross error she made out of shape - I think - affect the whole process of loan and does not give right to claim anything. We also inform you about to reach the end of the world as envisaged in Matthew 24:29. We encourage you to use more cost effective that the short time left to live. Thanks.
Here, you also try to draw more answers on this style. Unfortunately you can not carry on with the library of our university because we do not have one: we preferred to devote space to the laboratory for lap-dance. You say that you can resolve the issue behind by avoiding a useless place like the library. Of course, but we go step by step "how to spend your life without reading a book" will be the subject of a future lesson.
0 comments:
Post a Comment